Jake, I admire you bearing your soul about your father's death.
I think for you it is more difficult than possibly for myself for several reasons. My father had been slowly getting worse and worse off, with his vertebrae dissolving in his lumbar. He became less and less mobile, while the pain increased dramatically in the last couple of years. At 82, he was on morphine when he died, thus it was not unexpected.
The last thing he told me on the phone days before, was that he was never going back to the hospital again, and I think that was his way of not going back there. The agonizing pain of staying alive outweighed hanging on. So, he died in his sleep, the night he got home or the second night.
I was also so much older than you, 60 when he died. Almost as old as your father.
I was also far away in China. We had many wonderful, tearful phone conversations in the months before his death, but it’s not like being there and living the final days of a father’s life.
In your case, your father's cancer was like a bolt of evil lightning, super sudden, your father was much younger, 66 as I recall, which is unnatural (I was in OKC and we were supposed to celebrate his birthday when he got the news). You are also much, much younger, again, unnatural and you were by his side in those final months, which must have been incredibly trying to bear.
I think all these factors help explain why your father’s death is more traumatic, at least than my father's, which was more of the normal pattern, in terms of age and how it transpired.
It sounds like you're coping with it well and going through the healing process, which takes time.
Jake, this so good! The way you’re sharing this journey is both powerful and healing. Thank you for being willing to be open and transparent with others, as well as yourself. Love you gobs!
I really appreciate your honesty.. I do think it helps to write about it too ! You are an amazing young man ! Keep up the good work ! God is good ! 😊❤️
Wanted to say a few words in the DMs, Jake, so check those. But this is powerful and brave and truly moving, and you rule.
Jake, I admire you bearing your soul about your father's death.
I think for you it is more difficult than possibly for myself for several reasons. My father had been slowly getting worse and worse off, with his vertebrae dissolving in his lumbar. He became less and less mobile, while the pain increased dramatically in the last couple of years. At 82, he was on morphine when he died, thus it was not unexpected.
The last thing he told me on the phone days before, was that he was never going back to the hospital again, and I think that was his way of not going back there. The agonizing pain of staying alive outweighed hanging on. So, he died in his sleep, the night he got home or the second night.
I was also so much older than you, 60 when he died. Almost as old as your father.
I was also far away in China. We had many wonderful, tearful phone conversations in the months before his death, but it’s not like being there and living the final days of a father’s life.
In your case, your father's cancer was like a bolt of evil lightning, super sudden, your father was much younger, 66 as I recall, which is unnatural (I was in OKC and we were supposed to celebrate his birthday when he got the news). You are also much, much younger, again, unnatural and you were by his side in those final months, which must have been incredibly trying to bear.
I think all these factors help explain why your father’s death is more traumatic, at least than my father's, which was more of the normal pattern, in terms of age and how it transpired.
It sounds like you're coping with it well and going through the healing process, which takes time.
I admire you.
Jeff
Jake, this so good! The way you’re sharing this journey is both powerful and healing. Thank you for being willing to be open and transparent with others, as well as yourself. Love you gobs!
Yep. Cried… again. And it was really good to cry, so I guess… thank you? And also I think I’m upset at you too?
Love you so much.
I really appreciate your honesty.. I do think it helps to write about it too ! You are an amazing young man ! Keep up the good work ! God is good ! 😊❤️